The Small Fundamental

Ray Allen takes pride in doing things the same way, over and over again. If you watch video clips of him on YouTube, you'll notice his release looks the same, every time, all the time.

But if you watch him closely over the course of the season, especially the playoffs, you'll notice he does a lot of things basically the same way. The way he dribbles, the way he spins, crouches down on defense, jump-passes... it's so consistent, it's uncanny.

But then again, do we expect anything less from one of the the smoothest, most fundamentally sound players in the NBA? I mean, if you want your kids to watch someone play the game, Ray Allen is it. He does all the basics right. Dribbles with his head up. Finishes well with either his left or his right hand. Shoots with perfect balance.

Maybe the speed is no longer there; maybe the explosiveness is gone. But Allen has shown that if you really know how to play the game well, it doesn't matter. Heck, at 32 and with two surgically repaired ankles he still managed to blow past Sasha Vujacic in Game 4, and Sasha isn't exactly a wimp on D.

Ray doesn't look as intense as KG, or as passionate as Pierce, but he is one thing, and he proved it in the Finals: solid. Rock solid. He was the team's most consistent player, the guy who kept them in some games, and won others.

He sacrificed the most to give the Celtics a legitimate chance at a championship, and his sacrifices were rewarded. Now he's a winner; now he's like that other fundamentally-sound player in San Antonio: a champion.

Redemption, Thy Name is Kevin Garnett

Most players, even the great ones, are flawed. Kevin Garnett, for all his unbelievable skills, was knocked for two things: (1) his inability (or unwillingness) to take over games by scoring at will, and (2) his propensity to cave under pressure when the game was on the line.

The 2008 NBA Finals and Playoffs may have done something to change these perceptions.

It wasn't that his team won; it was that his team won with him basically disproving the theses of all the NBA "experts." He made shots when they counted. He took shots when they were needed. He didn't shrink from the Big Shot.

Yeah, he still fell short every now and then, the two botched free throws in Game 5 being his worst sins during the series. But what do you expect? This was a guy who wasn't sleeping, but was leading everyone in rebounding, who was playing mad, desperate D every possession, and who just left it all on the floor.

Now, he has nothing left to prove. Now, his critics can go find something else to critique.

Green is Great

It's been over a week since the Celtics won the NBA championship and I'm still euphoric.

Few people thought they could win it all, but they proved the "experts" all wrong. Now these NBA watchers are saying how great the Celtics' defense was, how tough they were, etc., etc. The same people who gave them grief for underachieving against the Hawks and the Cavaliers. So they can't finish games, huh? So KG can't come through in the clutch, eh? So Ray Allen's lost his jump shot, no? So Paul Pierce doesn't belong among the pantheon of Celtic greats, right?

By winning their seventeenth banner, the Celtics said one collective "screw you" to all these pundits, and proved once again that talent isn't enough to win; it takes heart, too.

Never Underestimate the Heart of a Champion

Or its lineup.

When the NBA Finals started, nine of ten ESPN writers picked the Lakers to beat the Celtics. Only Tim Legler, I believe, chose the Celtics. Across the blogosphere, the Lakers were the favorites; J.E. Skeets and Tas Melas of my favorite podcast, The Basketball Jones, picked LA in six. I'm trying to remember a major writer who picked the Celtics to win. (Bill Simmons did, but he's a Boston fan so he doesn't count.)

I can't.

I bet another lunch on the Celtics, and, I admit, a part of me did because of the fan in me. I felt the Celtics had a chance––however slim––in seven. I believed then––as I do now––that Boston had the better lineup. A more experienced, hardworking bench; three stars, all desperate for a championship to validate their careers; role players who played their guts out every freakin' game.

Maybe LA had, on paper, a more talented, energetic lineup.

But in terms of motivation, in terms of heart, I thought the Boston Celtics would win because they want it more.

Now, with the Celtics up, 3-1, they've confirmed it.

And proven that, 22 years after the last Celtics team won a championship, defense wins championships. And that the intangibles like heart and focus and drive matter.

He Has Risen

Jesus Shuttleworth, aka Ray Allen, is back.

The jump shot always looks the same, but in the past few games the results have been disappointing. Up till today's game, his shots didn't look like they were going to fall. But today he shot the lights out, hitting five of six threes and hitting crucial shots down the stretch to help bring the Boston Celtics closer to the NBA Finals.

Hallelujah.

Unstoppable

Kobe Bryant and LA Lakers have been unstoppable in these playoffs. They're the only team left that hasn't lost at home. The possibility of them dropping two straight seems improbable. They're young. Athletic. Focused. Well-coached. Deep.

The fan in me believes the Boston Celtics can go all the way. But the guy who's been following the NBA the whole year knows differently. To beat the Lakers, you'll have to bring your A game, plus-plus––and hope they don't bring theirs––FOUR times.

Deep, deep down inside, I don't think that's possible.

(AP Photo/Matt Slocum)

Swagger

Some teams have it, some don't. The Boston Celtics had it during the regular season when they steamrolled over every team in the NBA. Since the playoffs started, however, they only seem to have the Swagger when playing at home. This means they only appear unbeatable on their home floor. For a team hoping to win a championship, that won't cut it.

The LA Lakers, on the other hand, have it. They've faced tougher competition, but have won each series convincingly. Now they have the defending champs on the ropes, and they have a look eerily similar to the Chicago Bulls of the nineties. The look that says "you can't beat us."

Make no mistake, I'm cheering for the Celtics all the way. But if I were a betting man, I'd put my money on Kobe and Co.

Thoughts on Game 4

• If the Celtics win this, it's over.
• This should be the best game of the series. Boston knows if they win this, they can go home to wrap this series up. The Pistons know if they lose this on their home floor, they're going to be labeled underachievers. These are two teams with a lot of pride, so no quarter will be given, and none will be taken.
• Expect physical, nasty defense. The Pistons will try to trap ball handlers, which they did successfully to some extent in Game 3. The Celtics will continue to do what they've been doing, but will try to stay away from the cheap fouls that render big role players like Kendrick Perkins ineffective for long stretches of the game.
• Cassel will see some burn. Eddie House, with his shaky handle, is to vulnerable to the Pistons' traps.
• KG will be doubled. He's killed whoever's been on him.
• Pierce will score. With Detroit's D giving the Celtics' role players more attention, he's going to take matters into his own hands and take it to the hole.

Green is Gold

The Boston Celtics had a lot of doubters after dropping their first game at home. Then they win big in Detroit, outplaying the Pistons in almost every statistical category. The Big Three were replaced by the Big Bench, and it was Beautiful Basketball.

Just two games away from the NBA Finals, baby.

My Ballot

With the end of this season fast approaching, talk in the NBA has centered around who should win the various individual awards given out at season's end. I wish I had a vote, but since I don't, this blog post will have to do.

Most Valuable Player

Chris Paul, New Orleans Hornets. In previous posts, I've allowed Celtic Pride to overcome my objectivity. But after watching Chris Paul play over the past few weeks, it's hard to argue against the League's best point guard. No one among the four consensus MVP candidates (which include Kobe Bryant, Kevin Garnett, and Lebron James) does more with much less. James' team is crappy, but he hasn't elevated their play the way Paul has elevated his team's, hence Cleveland's lousy record (fourth in the East will not cut it).

Garnett has elevated the performances of the Boston Celtics, but how much better can these players be? Ray Allen and Paul Pierce are All-Stars on their own, and it's giving KG too much credit to say that it was he alone who convinced them to buy into the team concept. Allen and Pierce, as much as KG, deserve praise for contributing to the culture of winning that the Celtics now have.

If not for Paul's great season, Bryant would be my MVP. But man for man, he has a better team. The Lakers are ten men deep, and he has a great coach to boot. The Hornets' bench is laughable, even after acquiring Bonzi Wells and Mike James for Bobby Jackson.

The amazing thing about Paul is that he does his thing on both ends of the floor, orchestrating an efficient offense and giving the opposing point guard headaches on the defensive end. He leads the L in both assists and steals, while scoring just over 20 points a game, for a team that now sits atop the tough Western Conference. With him leading the Hornets, New Orleans has convincingly beat San Antonio (by 25!), Phoenix (ate Steve Nash alive), Dallas (made Jason Kidd look old), and LA (two times out of three). New Orleans, for God's sake.

Absolutely no one thought the New Orleans Hornets would be as good as they are now. They've exceeded all expectations, and they've done so because of this year's MVP, Chris Paul.

Best Defensive Player

Kevin Garnett, Boston Celtics. He probably won't win the award because his stats don't reflect the amazing defense he's played over the course of the year. He just changes the way teams play. I remember the Celtics' first game, they played the Washington Wizards, and when Gilbert Arenas drove in for a layup, KG just blocked the hell out of that ball. That was a portent of things to come. Boston has the NBA's best defense, and it's anchored on the broad shoulders of Kevin Garnett.

Rookie of the Year

Kevin Durant, Seattle Supersonics. Good as advertised, the lanky Durant has shown that he's an unstoppable scorer when he's in the groove. He should run away with this award.

Most Improved Player

Rajon Rondo, Boston Celtics. When the Boston Celtics got KG and Ray Allen, people thought that the point guard position was the starting five's weakest. But sophomore PG Rajon Rondo has played like he belongs on the court with the Big Three, holding his own against the best point guards of the L, like Steve Nash and Chris Paul. His shooting has improved immensely since last year, as teams sagging off him have painfully learned. His playmaking and decision-making is one of the reasons the Celtics are playing so well; he knows when to push the ball and when to slow it down. His defense has also been incredible, as he's used his speed to cover his man and pick off passes left and right. Few players have seen their play improve at such a degree this season, which is why Rondo should win this award.

First Team, All-NBA

Chris Paul, Kobe Bryant, Lebron James, Kevin Garnett, Amare Stoudemire. This one was easy.

All-Defensive Team

Chris Paul, Kobe Bryant, Shane Battier, Kevin Garnett, Marcus Camby. Bruce Bowen should probably be in here, but Shane Battier is, to me, the better all-around defender right now.

More KG-for-MVP Talk

Looks like I'm not the only one who thinks that Kevin Garnett deserves to be MVP for being the catalyst for the Boston Celtic's renaissance.

In this article, True Hoop's Henry Abbot discusses some ways the Boston Celtics have come up with to quantify KG's contributions on the court.

Sports Illustrated's David Dupree, on the other hand, says here that KG is "perhaps the most singularly responsible for the Celtics' resurgence, guiding them to the league's best record and changing the culture and mind-set of the team and its belief in itself," and that he deserves to be named MVP, although he probably won't win the award.

Dupree adds:

His statistics aren't that earth-shattering, as this is the first time in 10 seasons that he hasn't averaged at least 20 points and 10 rebounds (18.9 points and 9.4 rebounds going into Tuesday's games). He is shooing a career-best 53.7 percent and committing a career-low 2.0 turnovers, but he is also averaging a career-low 1.2 blocked shots and his assists average of 3.5 is his lowest in the last 11 seasons. He's also playing the fewest minutes (33.6) since he was a rookie. But his impact is immeasurable.

Here is a team that many critics felt would have trouble accommodating three big scorers such as Garnett, Paul Pierce and Ray Allen, yet with two weeks left in the season, the Celtics are the league's best defensive team. From Day One, Garnett said that the offense would take care of itself and that champions are made at the defensive end. He made that his mission, and the Celtics have responded by allowing NBA lows in points (90.2) and opponents' shooting (41.9 percent).

Perhaps the most interesting thing about Garnett this season is that when he missed nine-straight games in late January and early February with an abdominal strain, the Celtics went 7-2. The argument can be made that if he is so valuable, his team shouldn't have won so many games without him? But the reality of it could be that he has helped instill such confidence and belief in each other that his team can win, at least for the short term, without him.

Celtics coach Doc Rivers, however, puts forth an intriguing proposition. Rivers argues that while it's true that the who should win the MVP award is debatable, who should win Defensive Player of the Year award isn't, because to him, it clearly belongs to KG.

Somehow, I think all these things mean crap to KG. All he wants at the end of the season in the NBA Championship, and it's obvious that he'll do anything––i.e., sacrifice his stats, downplay MVP talk––to get it.

And that's why he deserves to be MVP.

Kevin Garnett, MVP

When it comes to choosing the L's MVP, I'm averse to choosing a player on the basis of his stats. Yes, statistics reveal much about how well he's performing. But numbers alone do not an MVP make. If that were the case, then Lebron James, the triple-double machine that he is, should probably win the award every year.

I've always been partial to winners and players you make their teams better, and usually judge the MVP-ness of a player by assessing his impact on the team he plays on. On this basis, I really felt that Jason Kidd should've won the award in 2002, when he brought the New Jersey Nets to the Finals. The Nets made a dramatic turnaround that year, with players like Kenyon Martin, Kerry Kittles, and yes, even Lucious Harris, suddenly looking like the great, solid players people knew they weren't.

Jason Kidd raised their games then, just as Kevin Garnett has raised the games of this year's Boston Celtics.

Yeah, his stats are underwhelming. He has, for the first time in years, failed to average at least 20 points and 10 rebounds a game. He is no longer among the league leaders in double-doubles, a title he contested annually with the Tim Duncans and Shaqs of this world. That he has chosen to not give a f*ck about his stats, and pour his heart and soul into the NBA's best team should serve as an example of how to judge the L's MVP. In the end, the stat that matters the most is a team's win-loss record, and how big a part a player contributes to that record.

Boston is on track to make the biggest one-season turnaround in League history. It has what Houston Rockets superstar Trace McGrady called the best defense he had ever seen in his career, a statement bolstered by the fact that the Celtics established a record for the least number of field goals by an opponent in the shot-clock era when it held the Miami Heat to 17 field goals in a blowout win. The Boston Celtics are where they are because of a defensive intensity unmatched in recent history, and the success of this D can in a large part be attributed to Kevin Garnett, who anchors the defense and has inspired his team-mates––including fellow stars Paul Pierce and Ray Allen––to play the best defense in their lives.

Garnett has raised his team's play in a way that Lebron James and Kobe Bryant haven't. The Cavs are nine games shy of the 50 games expected from a serious contender. The Lakers, while doing very well, have not consistently played at the level of Boston, even with a roster that is as good––if not better––than the the Celtics'. Chris Paul, while without a doubt the only reason New Orleans is a real threat in the Western Conference, has carried his team as much as KG has, but not as successfully.

This year's MVP race will probably be very, very close, with most pundits already making it a tossup between Kobe Bryant and Lebron James. I say throw out the stat sheets and choose a guy whose play––not his stats––has made his team the best in the League: Kevin Garnett.

The Western Conference

The teams, ranked according to their playoff seedings, in three words or less.

1. LA Lakers: Kobe M-V-P
2. New Orleans Hornets: They can sting
3. Houston Rockets: First round knockout
4. Utah Jazz: Picking and rolling
   
5. Phoenix Suns: Running in place
   
6. San Antonio Spurs: Not repeating
7. Dallas Mavericks: So screwed
8. Golden State Warriors: Upset City
   
9. Denver Nuggets: Thanking Dirk
10. Portland Trailblazers: Waiting for Oden
11. Sacramento Kings: KJ for Mayor
    
12. LA Clippers: Familiar territory
    
13. Minnesota Timberwolves: Envying green
    
14. Memphis Grizzlies: Not like D'Antoni
    
15. Seattle Supersonics: Moving

Kevin Garnett: Turning The Other Cheek

How appropriate, given the Holy Week, to see NBA superstar Kevin Garnett turn the other cheek in the face of (dumbass) allegations by Minnesota Timberwolves owner Glen Taylor that KG "tanked it" in the homestretch of last season.

Says Taylor:

"It was more like KG tanked it. I think the other guys still wanted to play. But it sure changed the team and didn't make us [as good]."

Garnett didn't hit back. "First off, I want to say Glen Taylor was good to me when I was a Timberwolf and I'm a Boston Celtic now," Garnett said. "I'm not going to be going back and forth saying tasteless things. That's not my character."

KG doesn't have to say anything. His actions and his 13-year career speaks for itself. He's always played his guts out, and in the worst of times in Minnesota, he never forced a trade or sulked, as some of his contemporaries have done recently.

Kevin Garnett has always had class. And he proved it here.

Boston: Where Amazing Happens

In honor of the Boston Celtics, a video I made that says it all.

Big Green Defensive Machine

The Houston Rockets' Tracy McGrady paid tribute to the Boston Celtics' defense after their 94-74 thrashing at the hands of the NBA's best team:

"I've never seen a defense like that. I mean, if they play defense like that, night in and night out, the NBA is in trouble because that was defense at its finest."

The Celtics ended the Rockets' 22-game win streak convincingly, beating the streaking Rockets by 20 big points.

Making the win more impressive was the fact that it came a night after Boston's equally impressive two-point victory over the San Antonio Spurs, whom they beat, 93-91, after rallying from 22 points down.

Kids, This is How to Play Defense

I only learned today, via an article by ESPN's John Hollinger, that Houston Rockets forward Shane Battier has never made NBA All-Defensive Team. Holy crap. The NBA is full of injustice (Isiah Thomas, still with the Knicks), but this one just takes the cake. There are a couple of players who are known for playing excellent defense, something that's rewarded by spots on the All-Defensive Team, i.e., Ron Artest, Marcus Camby, and Bruce Bowen. To me, Shane Battier has always been a part of that list; that he hasn't been officially recognized for his tough (and very smart) D is a travesty.

The photo above, taken during Houston's fantastic win over the LA Lakers, illustrates just how effective a defender Battier is. He gets in your face--literally and figuratively. As Hollinger astutely points out in his article, Battier doesn't try to block the jump shots of scorers like Bryant; he finds a way to stick his hand over the shooter's face as the latter releases his shot. The feat is harder than it looks or sounds. If you watched Battier cover Bryant in the Houston-LA game, you'll notice that Battier slides his whole arm in between Bryant's arms when Kobe takes a shot.

It's not only that Battier does this, it's that he does this every time. EVERY TIME. He's friggin' relentless. Hollinger points out that Battier covered Kobe with almost no help from his team-mates, and Hollinger is right. Battier hounded Bryant like a shadow, and, more impressively, he never let up. A Battier defensive play in the fourth quarter shows just how persistent he is. Bryant brushes Battier off a screen, spinning off the screen (watching Kobe dribble is a thing of beauty) and then quickly rising of his feet to take the jumper; Kobe thinks Battier is gone; so do I; but then Battier runs around the pick and leaps to block what Kobe thought was an open shot.

After the game, Battier was slumped in the shower room and said that a guy deserves a couple of beers after running after Kobe for forty-plus minutes.

I say give this guy a keg.

(Nathaniel S. Butler/NBAE/Getty Images)

Twenty-two!

I had to wake up at four in the friggin' morning to watch the Houston Rockets win their twenty-second straight game, but boy, was it worth it. Years from now I'll be able to say that I watched history unfold, to say that––should the Rockets fall to the Boston Celtics tomorrow, as I believe they will––I saw (1) the Rockets win the last game of the second-best winning streak in League history; (2) Shane Battier make Kobe Bryant look human; and (3) watch Houston rocket from tenth to first in the Western Conference, in the span of two months. Houston, 104, LA, 92.

Thoughts: Boston 98, San Antonio 90

• Glen Davis has great, soft hands. He can catch anything under the rim, and unlike most rookies, knows how to finish. His hands are also great on D. Tim Duncan bled for his shots in this game, and Davis was one of the reasons. This guy had three steals, for crying out loud.
• It would've been nice to see Tony Parker and Rajon Rondo try to outrun each other. In a straight race, my money is on Rondo; with the ball, I'm betting on Parker.
• The game was a great test for the C's defense and discipline. As is usually the case, San Antonio kept trying to come back, hoping to break the Celtics' defensive resolve. For most of the game, Boston played consistent, tough defense, and that got them the win.
• KG's injury has turned out to be a blessing in disguise. It's given Leon Powe and Glen Davis valuable minutes which'll really help build their confidence when they're in the playoffs.
• Ray Allen really, really knows how to run the pick and roll. Of course, it helps that he's a great shooter with a quick release who opponents are loathe to leave open. That, and great passing skills make him a bitch to guard.
• Paul Pierce is a bull. He moves in slow motion, but I almost never see him get his shot blocked; attempts to do so usually end with him taking free throws.

They Just Want It More

In its 88-86 victory over the Minesotta Timberwolves, one play––the very last play––explains the success the Boston Celtics have enjoyed this season.

There's 20 seconds and change left, Timberwolves guard Marko Jaric misses a three pointer that would've given them the lead. His team-mate Craig Smith saves the ball from going out of bounds, but his pass is picked off by Ray Allen. Allen rushes down the court and heads straight for the basket while two Wolves players follow him. Allen misses the layup (he's fouled, but it isn't called), but with four––yes, four––Celtics trailing him, the ball inevitably lands into the hands of a guy in green. The rebounder is Leon Powe, and with under a second to go, he lays in the winning shot.

You'd think that it would be the Timberwolves––who have just a few more wins than the Celtics have losses––would be the hustling, scrappy team. But when the game was on the line, when it mattered the most, only two Wolves would sprint down to try to stop Ray Allen, while ALL the Celtics ran down the court with their star shooting guard.

The Boston Celtics worked hard––albeit, late in the game––to get the W, just as they have whole year long. And this is why they have the best record in the League. (AP Photo/Jim Mone)

It Could Work

Reasons the Suns' acquisition of Shaq COULD work:

Steve Nash makes everyone better. He made Marion look great in highlights. Made Amare Stoudemire an All-Star. Made Boris Diaw look like an All-Star. Gave Grant Hill a second life. He could do the same for Shaq.

Shaq is great when motivated. And boy, is he motivated. The man has an ego bigger the size of a friggin' mountain. You don't think all the criticism about The Trade doesn't bother him? He's pissed. And he plays way better when pissed. Look for him to prove everyone wrong.

It makes the Suns flexible. When Shaq sits, they can run. When he plays, they can play a more deliberate half-court game. In the playoffs, when the tempo slows down, this versatility could work in the Suns' favor.

Better locker room chemistry. Shawn Marion, for all of his talent, was a downer in the locker room. Removing him and inserting the lighter, funnier Shaq may do wonders for a team that's been taking itself too seriously in the past few months.

It gives the West's big men something to think about. Yeah, Shaq's no longer the force he used to be. But you can't ignore him down in the paint, which means the West's big men won't be able to go out and help perimeter defenders against Phoenix's many shooters. It also means that teams with weaker centers will have to sag down low and make things a little easier for the Suns' wing players.

Shaq-ing Trades

Two big trades in the past week have shook the NBA.

The first had Memphis' Pau Gasol sent over to the LA Lakers for Kwame Brown, Javaris Crittenton, and two first-round draft picks. Gasol being moved wasn't as much as a shock as the (cheap) price the Lakers paid for him.

The second had Miami sending Shaquille O'Neal to the Phoenix Suns for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks. Marion leaving the Suns was totally expected; he'd been upset with his role in Phoenix for what seems to be forever. The shocker was who the Suns got in return for their do-all forward: Shaq.

The two trades are a study in contrasts. The Lakers have been praised for what many call a major coup; obtaining an All-Star quality forward who appears to be a great fit for Phil Jackson's triangle offense without giving up anyone in the Lakers' core. The transaction gives LA arguably the best starting five in the league: Andrew Bynum, Gasol, Lamar Odom, Kobe Bryant, and Derek Fisher. The talent doesn't end there. Backing them up are players who would probably start for other teams: Ronny Turiaf, Trevor Ariza, Luke Walton, Jordan Farmar, Vladimir Radmanovic, and Sasah Vujacic.

(An aside. With two great franchises––the Celtics and the Lakers––suddenly reinvigorated by seemingle lopsided trades, one wonders when Fate will cut the New York Knicks a break.)

The Suns, on the other hand, have been criticized incessantly by almost everyone for a trade that doesn't seem to make any sense for them. No one could be a worse fit for the run-and-gun Suns than the 36 year-old center, who can barely run after almost a decade of carrying his 300-pound frame. His skills, as many observers point out, have greatly deteriorated. Marion did everything for Phoenix; played defense, grabbed rebounds, and scored when needed. Shaq, many say, won't replace that.

Whatever happens with these two teams, one thing is certain: the Wild West just got even wilder.

Houston Needs Jason Kidd

Jason Kidd won't be in a New Jersey uniform after February 21, that much is certain after the All-Star guard announced that he'd prefer to be shipped out than stay on a team that, in his view, wasn't going anywhere.

A number of destinations for Kidd have been mentioned, like Cleveland and Los Angeles, but with the Cavs devoid of any assets the Nets would want, and the Lakers now all set with Pau Gasol in their roster, it seems that few teams are willing to part with a substantial portion of their roster to get Kidd.

If there's one team that should, it's Houston. If there's a team that needs a point guard of his caliber, it's the Rockets, who have a roster full of talented players who just can't seem to get it together. Kidd would change that.

Hold on to Yao Ming, and offer anyone for Kidd. Now.

Dinner at the Dunleavys

Mike: How was your day?

Junior: Terrible. We got our asses kicked by Kobe and Co. Damn, Andrew Bynum's got game. He's tall, long, athletic, strong, and agile. Plus he's got great hands, good footwork. And the guy's only 20 f*cking years old. Why couldn't I have been born like that?

Mike: Uh, because your mom and I are white.

Junior: Damn.

Mike: Don't be too hard on yourself. You did okay tonight. I mean, you actually led your team in scoring.

Junior: Not that it helped. We're really f*cked this year. When I can lead a team in scoring, you know we're f*cked.

Mike: You think you're screwed? You're just three games under .500. In the Eastern Conference. Heck, you guys are going to be in the playoffs for sure. Us? Sh*t. We'll be lucky if we have a postseason. F*ck. I may be out of a job next year if things don't get any better.

Junior: I don't get it. You have a decent team, even without Elton. You gotta think about another line of work, Dad.

Mike: Watch your mouth. I could say the same for you.

You Still Think I'm Old?

Yeah, I'm 32 years old. Sure, I've spent almost a dozen years in the L. But look at me. Do I look like one of those chumps who sit in front of their TVs munching on Doritos while having a Coke? Do you think there's an ounce of fat on me. None. Zero.

You know why? It's because when I'm on the court, I play my heart out. I run. And run. And run some more. I don't stop. I don't quit. I attack. And slash. And zip around the court like a two year-old who drank too much soda. You slow getting back? I'm going to get to the basket before you can say "defense."

Billy King, that retard who basically forced me to ask for a trade, felt that rebuilding was the way to go. That there wasn't any point in building a team around me, because I'm not the sort of guy you build teams around. Even though I got us in the Finals in 2001 with a bunch of chumps. Imagine what I could've done if you had given me a big man who could catch the damn ball (Sorry, Deke) or another consistent scorer to keep those defenses off me.

So rebuilding around the other AI is the answer, huh? How old is he? 23 years old? What do his stats look like? Just under 19 points, 4.7 dimes, 2 steals a game?

Me? I dunno, man. I'm pretty old. I'm a f*cking senior citizen in the L. I couldn't possibly be averaging more than 25 points a game. But guess what? I'm averaging just under 27 a game. While dishing out a shade under 7 assists. And playing D that's good enough for 2.4 steals a game. I'm 2nd in scoring in the NBA. Eleventh in assists. Third in steals.

Guess we know which AI still brings the sh*t, eh? Guess we know who The Answer really is, right?

Know what other stats matter? 109-96. That was the score today when we Nuggets whipped your asses. 21-12. That's our record right now.

So Philly, thanks for the memories. And for trading me. I'm definitely happier where I am now.

Allen

A Look Back at 2007

The Good

The resurgence of the Boston Celtics

Just when you thought that Danny Ainge was in the running to be the NBA's worst GM, he turned things around for the long-suffering Boston Celtics by acquiring Kevin Garnett and Ray Allen for over two thirds of the Celtics' 2006-2007 roster. The gamble has paid off, with the Celtics holding the NBA's best record and Boston now a favorite to reach the NBA Finals for the first time in over 20 years.

Jailblazers no more

When they shipped Zach Randolph to the New York Knicks before the beginning of the season, the Portland Trailblazers marked the end of the Jailblazer Era. With a group of young, athletic, team-oriented players led by 2007 Rookie of the Year Brandon Roy, Portland coach Nate McMillan has remade the Blazers in his own image. They play tough D, share the ball, and work their ass off every night... and no one gets in the papers for breaking the law.

The return of Grant Hill

People thought he wouldn't be able to play again, but in a Phoenix Suns uniform Grant Hill has shown that he can still play, and play well.

The Bad

The Houston Rockets: the more things change, the more they stay the same

At the beginning of each season, the Houston Rockets show a lot of promise, and this season was no exception, with new coach Rick Adelman and acquisitions like Luis Scola having people talking about the Rockets becoming the newest member of the Western Conference's elite. After a hot 6-1 start, Houston lost seven straight games and today are barely keeping their heads above water. With Tracy McGrady showing signs that he wants out, the Rockets don't look like a team that will make the playoffs, much less get out of the first round.

The Diesel slows down

A lot of premier players lose their game slowly, getting a step slower with each passing year. Few have huge drop-offs like the League's Most Dominating Ever, who is painful to watch on a mediocre Miami Heat team that is a far cry from the squad that won the 2006 NBA Finals. Shaquille O'Neal is as big as a dinosaur. Now he's as old as one, and plays like one.

Milwaukee can't buck the trend

Another team which had a promising season, with a star player poised for superstardom (Michael Redd) and a rookie with star-like qualities (Yi Jianlian) leading a balanced team that won five straight games in November, including one over the Dallas Mavericks, before losing eight of their next nine games. With a 12-20 record, they now sit at the cellar of the Central Division, and it doesn't look like things are going to change anytime soon.

The Ugly

The New York Knicks

What else need be said about the Knicks, who seem to personify everything that's wrong with NBA basketball.

Minnesota after KG

Admit it, Kevin McHale, you still love the Boston Celtics. Why else would you give your franchise's best player for a potential star (Al Jefferson) and some change? At the least, you could've gotten a proven star player and maybe a first round draft pick or two. But no, you and pal Danny Ainge got together and made a deal that made a lot of sense––for Boston, that is. Now the Timberwolves own the League's worst record, with only four wins in 32 games.

The Chicago Bulls' offense

Things may change with the firing of Scott Skiles, but if you watched the Bulls' games at the beginning of the season, you probably were tempted to change the channel. With Kirk Hinrich, Ben Gordon, and Luol Deng bothered by trade talks and obviously uninspired by their temperamental head coach, the Bulls's young trio couldn't get into the groove and shot so poorly that Chicago defied expectations in the worst way, becoming one of the League's worst teams despite being touted as one of the favorites to reach the NBA Finals. Things may still turn around with new coach Jim Boylan at the helm, but with Eastern Conference teams like the Detroit Pistons and Boston Celtics already brimming with confidence, and the Bulls now having to claw their way into the playoffs, it may already be too late.

Big Win, Baby!

The Boston Celtics beat the Detroit Pistons, 92-85, ending the Pistons' 11-game winning streak and getting back at the Pistons for the Celtics' first home loss this season.

In a possible preview of the Eastern Conference Finals, the Celtics' bench came up big, outscoring Detroit's reserves 39-23, not bad for a team whose depth was questioned at the beginning of the season.

Boston's reserves answered those questions in their rematch with Detroit, with rookie forward Glen "Big Baby" Davis leading thew way with 20 points, the bulk of them in a tight fourth quarter against a defense that found itself collapsing on Paul Pierce, leaving the rook open underneath the basket. Though the box score didn't reflect it, the Celtics also got solid contributions from its other subs, with Tony Allen, James Posey, Eddie House, and Scot Pollard playing great defense and doing the little things to get the W.

Like A Fish Out Of Water...

...is how the Lakers felt when they donned not just retro uniforms, but retro shorts in their game against the Boston Celtics on December 30, 2007. Among those not thrilled about the shorts was Kobe Bryant:

"I don't know what it feels like to wear a thong, but I imagine it feels something like what we had on in the first half. I felt violated. I felt naked. It's one thing to see films with guys wearing those things. … I'd rather stay warm, man."

Not only did the Lakers look funny, they lost the game as well.

What The Celtics Have Shown Us This Year

One: They can play defense.

We knew that with Paul Pierce and Ray Allen onboard that the Celtics could score, but little did we know that with Kevin Garnett in the mix that Boston would transform itself into a top-notch defensive team. At present they lead the League in points allowed and opponents' field goal percentage, two statistical categories usually topped by the World Champion San Antonio Spurs.

Two: They can play with the big boys.

Never mind that they have yet to play the San Antonio Spurs and the Dallas Mavericks, two top-tier teams that haven't been as dominating as they have in previous years. Mind instead that were it not for two free throws, the Celtics would've beaten the Detroit Pistons after being down for most of the fourth quarter. Boston also beat the Lakers and the Jazz at home, two teams back-to-back on a tough road trip that many said would result in at least one loss for the men in green. They have the tools to keep up with the NBA's best, and by the time they have to face the teams in Texas, they'll have to confidence and swagger to come away with the Ws.

Three: They act unbeatable... and for the most part, are.

For a couple of times this season, I thought they would lose games. Their first against Toronto, for example. The ones against Miami, too. But each time it looked like they would lose, the C's always hit the big shots. You look at them and you get the feeling that they think they're invincible, and that no deficit is too large for them to overcome. In the game against the very cool and composed Pistons, they were down by six and they looked like Detroit had them beat. Then Eddie House and Ray Allen hit threes that got them back in the game. When they release their shots, you just KNOW they're going to go in. And that kind of ability is making teams nervous.

Four: Garnett, Pierce, and (Ray) Allen aren't the only decent players on this team.

One knock on the Celtics in the preseason was their depth, or, to be more precise, their lack of it. All the other players were question marks. Rajon Rondo? No jump shot, erratic. Kendrick Perkins? Too soft. Tony Allen? All jump and no game. James Posey? Too old. Eddie House? Too streaky. Glenn "Big Baby" Davis? Too fat. Brian Scalabrine? Brian Scalabrine?!?

Turns out that star power is contagious. In at least one game this season, the abovementioned players starred for the team. In what has become a familiar refrain, someone other than Boston's three stars has stepped up and become the team's x-factor, much to the delight of their three ego-less stars. Rondo, in particular, has been a revelation, a dependable point guard who has learned to use his speed to get to the basket, force turnovers, and push the ball. His defense has also been commendable, a pesky complement to the long-armed presence of KG.

"There's always somebody stepping up," says Celtics captain Paul Pierce. As long as this happens, chalk up more wins for Boston in the months ahead.

Five: Yes, they CAN win the NBA championship.

NBA teams are quickly learning that the Celtics are for real. NBA-Championship-For-Real. With only the Detroit Pistons with a legitimate shot at stopping their march to the NBA Finals, the Celtics are poised to make a return to the Promised Land after a 21-year hiatus. Expect Garnett, Pierce, and Allen to use their small window of opportunity to win it all (the three are all over 30 years old).